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  “You know he can’t stand conflict, he probably just ran for cover...”

  Sid cut Sonny off. “Don’t you turn this on me, Sonny. I looked for him. I thought maybe he went back to your house, so I started for there. Then the pricks rushed me! I ran north, leaving the car behind and dropped the box of food. Shit, I felt bad about it, but Tom was gone, man.” Sidney was losing his composure. “Then a shot rang past my ear and they ordered me to stop. So I did.” He rubbed furiously at his eyes. “Before they could do their worst, the group who brought me here came and saved me. They told me where they were going and invited me to come along. I asked them to take me here instead. Shit, Sonny, we fired at you thinking you were one of the assholes who attacked me and Tom. You almost ran us down.”

  Sonny shook his head. “Sorry Sid, I couldn’t see shit.”

  Sid plowed his fingers through his hair. Wet ash made for one hell of a mess, especially in Sid’s short dreadlocks. “Listen Sonny, Tom’ll show up… He just got scared and ran.” He pushed his chair back and stood. “All my stuff is still in my car in town. I’d really like to get it back. Are there any plans to go soon?”

  “We were planning on going there tomorrow morning,” Connor replied, “but with all these freaks running around, I guess we’d better be armed.”

  I agreed. “Five of us can go to town and the rest can stay here to protect the house. Sound good?”

  “Perfect,” Earl approved. “I volunteer for the trip. Who else wants to go to town?”

  “I’ll hang back,” I said. “Get some work done here.” I didn’t know if I was ready to stomach the reality of the situation yet.

  “I’ll stay here too,” Connor decided. “It’s important that nothing happens to this house.”

  John, Sid, Sonny and Seth all volunteered to return to town, leaving the defence of the house to the rest of us. We did a time check after the meeting was considered over, and I suggested that we start taking showers one at a time being as many of us were covered in the filmy black soot.

  “No longer than three minutes each. That way water won’t be wasted. We’re on a well here, but keep in mind that it’s not bottomless.” My mind raced with instructions, what to do in a crisis. “Keep the hot water to a minimum too, we need to conserve what fuel we have for the generator.”

  “Meanwhile, let’s get a schedule made up for 24 hour guard duty,” Earl suggested. “It’s important – for our defence.”

  And our survival.

  *****

  Freddy, Gil, and Sara took the inaugural guard shift while the rest of us went to our beds and couches and collapsed. The following morning, I prepared for the 8:00 a.m. watch while Earl and the boys collected their gear for the drive to town. Julia insisted that they tie wet rags to their faces to act as filters.

  “Good luck, fellas,” I said. “I’ll see you in three hours.” Then I added, “Come home with Tom...”

  Sonny shot a thumbs-up. “Count on it.”

  After they departed, the rest of us spent the morning taking stock of what we had to work with and noting what we needed. Fuel was key to our survival, and conservation of our present supply would be paramount. We would only turn the lights on when absolutely necessary. The fridges and freezer would run day and night as always. Anything else that used up batteries or made the generator consume more fuel would be carefully monitored.

  What struck me as bizarre was the amazing sleep I’d enjoyed the night before. The mental and physical stress combined had knocked me right out. Any dreams or nightmares that might have tormented me were not carried over into my waking memory. This made me almost feel like my old self again.

  At 10:30 a.m. Connor approached me with the e.t.a. for our ‘Away Team.’

  “Half an hour more, Joel, and then I start to worry, right?” He wiped the sweat off his bare chest with a towel. I was going shirtless too. The girls had adopted a no-bra rule because the heat was just too much. There were definitely no complaints from any of us guys.

  I checked my watch. “Don’t sweat it yet. Pun intended.”

  “Trying not to. What are you doing?”

  “Trying to find some stuff we can use.” I gestured at a dusty pile of boxes I’d pulled from the hall closets.

  “Yeah, it’s good to keep yourself busy.” He stood over me, one leg shaking to an invisible beat. He was clearly nervous about something.

  “You need to talk, Connor? You know I’m here for you buddy, just let me know.”

  “No, it ain’t nothing. I’m going back up to see if Freddy needs anything.”

  “You’re sure, man?”

  He lifted up his hands as if to say, “It’s all good.” Then he left.

  Upstairs, Freddy yelled that the boys were back. Connor hadn’t made it halfway up the stairs before he was blazing a path back down. I opened the door. They were still exiting the vehicles, bags slung over their shoulders. I started a head count while Connor looked at me anxiously.

  I shook my head. “Shit, I can’t count them. It’s too dark.”

  “Hey! Did you find him?!” Connor called out.

  No answer, so we waited. The troops finally trudged toward the house, heads down and shoulders hunched against the pounding wind. When they came in, I did a head count. Five, only five.

  “Where’s Tom?”

  At first they didn’t answer. They glanced at each other and then at us, faces marked by discouragement and, yes, grief. “It’s no good,” Earl finally said. “We looked all over.”

  Sid lowered his head and grabbed his stomach. “Shit...” Pushing his way past us, he ran to the bathroom.

  Sonny clenched his fists. “I’m going back! I’m not finished!”

  “Are you going back out right now, Sonny?” I asked.

  “I wouldn’t have even come back if I had taken my own car.” He never took his stare off of Earl, the conveyer of terrible news. I half-expected him to start swinging, so I moved between them.

  “Alright, I’ll come with you.” I guided Sonny into the front hall and started suiting up for the nasty weather. “Give us another three hours.”

  After I hugged Sara and promised to return on time, Sonny and I left the house. As we sprinted to Connor’s four-runner, I felt the hot ash blowing on my neck. Breathing was difficult in this heat even with the wet cloths on our faces.

  The truck didn’t start on the first try, but I’d driven this pig enough to know its quirks and get it going eventually. The uneasy moment soon passed and we were on our way.

  Chapter Eleven

  “Any new ideas on where we should look?” I asked, keeping my eyes on the road ahead.

  “One.” Sonny rubbed his hands together. “There’s this place on the east side I remember him telling me about, behind one of those horse barns on the town line. He’d go there to think or some shit.”

  “So we’ll go there.” I took a turn slowly. The ash build-up on the roads demanded caution.

  Passing through town was a nightmare. The visual picture I had created from the others’ descriptions did not do justice to the reality I now witnessed. Emotion almost got the better of me as we coasted past the twisted metal and fallen trees. Everything was scorched or burned to the ground. How would we ever find anybody in this? It seemed hopeless.

  We reached our destination: a barn off the town line. It was then that the rain started to fall, black and heavy. Sprinting the final few meters through the devastated field, we despaired of finding Tom there, until we noticed a light shining inside.

  Sonny pushed his way in first, helping me as I slipped in the mucky downpour. Once inside the barn’s fragile shell, I removed my gloves and wiped my eyes clear. Sonny retracted his ski goggles and joined me in staring.

  There was a veritable pot factory in here, with hundreds of plants growing in their own bio-bubble. Tables lined the full length of the barn in several rows, and high intensity lights hung low from the rafters, supported by chains.

  “Eden!” Sonny had said a mouthfu
l. I had to smile.

  We walked softly on the concrete floor, careful not to disturb the perfect ambiance we’d stumbled into. It was an experienced set-up. Whoever did this had to be growing for a government-ordered medical supply; that was my first impression. On closer inspection, I realized that these plants were being fed more than hydroponics. A well-known drug used to treat depression was also being pumped into them via labeled tubes hanging from the rafters.

  “We should take all of this back,” I blurted. “It’s a lot of weed, man. No one else is going to smoke it.”

  He agreed eagerly. Then, remembering why we had come here, he shouted, “Tom! Where the Christ are you?” I nearly jumped out of my skin. His cry broke the otherwise tranquil aura we’d enjoyed since entering the barn. Such a pained last attempt was his call that I felt compelled to join in.

  “Tom! Are you in here?!” No response. My heart sank.

  After a few moments of eerie stillness, I set to work on our second objective by collecting the buds. After about seven or eight, I realized that my jacket couldn’t hold more and stopped. Sonny noticed and began to gather some of his own.

  “Might as well get something outta this trip,” he said huskily.

  I found a bunch of clear plastic bags under a discarded trench coat and handed some to Sonny. We collected as many ripe buds as we could carry, and then drove back to the house.

  Despite the mass disappointment over not finding Tom, everyone was curious about our discovery.

  “How much weed have you got??” Connor asked.

  “Thousands of dollars’ worth,” I speculated. “And there’s more in the barn, a lot more. The best place for it is in the dry storage.”

  “Whoa, the storage is full, old man. We’ve got a shitload of food in there.”

  We decided to put them in the garage instead. After clearing a dry shelf and stashing the plants on it, I grabbed enough to guarantee a couple days of buzzed bliss. When Connor met me in the hall, I showed him the wad.

  “I was wondering when you were going to pull it out,” he grinned. “I could smell it a mile away.” He picked some off my palm and rolled it in his fingers before elevating it slowly to his nose and inhaling deeply. “Shit, that’s some serious dope.”

  “What do you say to a big smoke show up in the addition? I think we could all use some time away from..... Well, we could use some time away.”

  He understood. “You want me to rally them up? I’m sure they’ll all be more than willing. We got booze too; Earl hit the liquor store today.”

  “Okay then, let’s do it!”

  Half an hour later, we gathered in the addition, eager to force aside the bewilderment and fear that threatened to overwhelm us at any moment. Sitting in one of the few chairs, I packed the pipe, a beer at my side- warm, but a beer all the same. The others were drinking and discussing the day’s events. Only the fact that all of us carried weapons distinguished this get-together from the hundreds we had enjoyed in the past. The guns reminded me that this was just an attempt to punch holes in the darkness that enveloped us now.

  Connor was staring at me. When I lifted my brows, he walked over.

  “You know you’re our leader, right? They’ve all decided. We had a sort of vote while you and Sonny were gone. I for one couldn’t sway them to vote Jake in but it was close.” He smiled and took the pipe from me. “Why don’t you say a few words for the troops? This is your party, Joel, your show.”

  I guess it meant more to me hearing it from Connor. I wasn’t the leader of this group solely because my house was our sanctuary now. I was the leader through a secret vote. I stood up.

  “Can I have everybody’s attention for a second?” I spoke slowly, distant.ly This weed was very different from what I was used to.

  They assembled around me. My head started to buzz and a huge smile tattooed itself to my face. My eyes closed slowly. I began to scratch my face and hair vigourously. The smile remained but transformed into a grotesque satire of itself. My scratching became more violently uninhibited, extending to my legs. I was completely unaware of what was happening around me now, interested only in the elusive itch. Not another word escaped my mouth for what I perceived to be five minutes. Then I sighed. “How long have I been scratching that itch?”

  The laughter seemed to explode in my head. It was beautiful. I was the man. The Sweet Bitch did her job, now it was up to us to keep it unreal.

  The reasoning behind getting high tonight couldn’t be disputed; it seemed almost ridiculous that we ever did it before. Before the Armageddon I saw drugs as an escape, but what were we trying to escape from?

  A few hours into the evening, Gil became paranoid and had to have his gun taken away as a precaution. Nothing would bring the house down like an accidental shooting, so John suggested that we all relinquish possession of our firearms.

  “Alright,” I agreed. “John has a point! Guns are checked at the door when we come in here for recreation. This area is now deemed our R & R room.” I finished by knocking my empty beer bottle on the window ledge- very Judge Joel of me.

  “But Joel,” Earl complained, “this is our best spot in the house for standing guard, what good is it...”

  I cut him off.

  “Earl, it’s only when we’re having fun, if someone is on duty in here they’ll keep their gun. The others will leave theirs at the door.” I scratched my face, feeling the itch return. Earl noticed and began to laugh and scratch at his chest. We all joined in. The laughter felt good and warmed us, unreal, but real enough.

  The remainder of the night had its ups and downs. After all, this was only the second day of the new world, and these people still had to get over their losses. Eventually the addition, or ‘Skylab’ as we’d renamed it in our stupor, began to empty as people staggered off to bed. Our mystery pot had certainly come through in a pinch, I thought as I rolled the last joint of the night and sat against the east wall with Sara, Kevin, Jake and Sonny, the diehards.

  “Before we lose our buzz,” I said, holding it up in front of everyone, “here’s to... our futures...” I lit the joint and passed it around. Sara was nodding off on my shoulder; I felt sleep encroaching also. Where was Tom?

  Chapter Twelve

  My head grew heavy and I felt alone and disoriented. I realized suddenly how hungry I was and hightailed it out of Skylab.

  As I made my way through the house, a mental haze messed with my locomotion as well as my equilibrium. I found it increasingly difficult to maneuver. Suddenly I lost my footing, tumbled down the staircase, and landed in the front hall on my back.

  Lying there, still as a corpse, I mentally scanned myself for shooting pains or some other sign of injury. Nothing. Slowly, carefully, I got up.

  “Joel! Are you alright? Did you just fall down the stairs?” Sara had heard me from Skylab. I gave her the thumbs-up as she bent over the railing.

  “Just took the express route down, Babe.” I caressed my ass.

  “I’ll do that for you,” she grinned saucily. “Come up to bed.” She sauntered into my room and closed the door.

  I double-timed it back up the stairs, forgetting food in a flash. Entering my room, I found the girl of my dreams lying in my bed, naked under the covers. She was as high as a kite. The pain had left her, if only for tonight. If only for tonight we were who we were, the kids we really were. That made me smile, to know the world outside was nonexistent to her right now, that it was just me and her in my room during any given evening in the first few days of an endless summer. I walked silently to the bed, undressing along the way. Taking her face in my hands, I kissed her intensely. That night would not be the last of its kind by any means, but I can say that it was one of the most powerful memories I have of her, of us...

  After an hour or more of almost animalistic passion, we lay there, slowly falling out of our fantasy and returning to the reality of where we were, of when we were. Sara spoke softly into my chest.

  “I miss them Joel... you know? I can’t
believe…“ She didn’t make it much further. I hugged her tightly, trying to control the contractions of her body as she cried against me. “I miss them so much...”

  “I know,” I said. “I know.”

  She held me close and said what I’d known for some time, or had hoped I’d known. One thing was sure though, it felt good to hear it.

  “I love you, Joel. I really love you.” Our eyes met and I broke down.

  We embraced until sleep overcame us.

  *****

  I must have woken up five times that night. My sheets were all over the floor with the exception of the comforter Sara had managed to hold onto. Shit, was it hot. My sweating never seemed to let up, and each time I’d wake it felt like a new river had opened on my forehead. Trying not to rouse Sara, I sat up. Another nightmare troubled me, a new one. God, in how many different ways was my unconscious going to tell me I was ‘not in Kansas anymore?’

  This time the images defied interpretation. I couldn’t seem to pull a meaning from what I remembered. The problem being I just couldn’t remember enough to put anything together.

  My temples throbbed. I eased them with my fingers, and then rubbed my eyes hard, producing flashes of white light. They in turn sparked a memory of the events leading up to my waking state. Despite the sweltering temperature in the room, I shivered.

  Sara watched me. “Someone walked over your grave?” she asked, half asleep.

  “What?” I asked. “What’d you say?”

  “You shivered. It’s an old saying: when you shiver, it means that somebody just walked over your grave.”

  “How could anyone have walked on my grave if I’m not dead?”

  She had gone back to sleep, so my answer would have to wait until morning. My watch read 6:30 a.m. I glanced out the window, hoping to see the sunlight slowly brightening the sky. A knee-jerk reaction I guess, one I wouldn’t give up on too quickly.

  ******

  Earl knocked at our door minutes later. “Joel, you up yet? Your watch.”